There are hardly words...

Since last Saturday I've been really crampy and REALLY uncomfortable. Beginning Tuesday night I didn't feel the baby move at all and by Wednesday morning was in full on freak out mode. I went into the Dr. and they put me on the baby monitor and everything was fine. During that appt. they realized that I had gone from measuring right on track to suddenly measuring 37 weeks instead of 35. Since I still had an appt. scheduled for today they added on an ultrasound to check to make sure I didn't have too much fluid.

WELL, the fluid level is fine, great in fact. We just seem to have a bit too much baby. The ultrasound got off on the wrong foot. The first image was his head and she said, "Wow that's a big head." Upon hearing my gasp, she said "don't worry my kids had big heads too but they look normal now." So giant cranium aside, she moved along into measuring his other parts, raising her eyebrows and whistling through her teeth all along. I had to fight back a rising panic and an overwhelming urge to laugh hysterically in fear, and run out of the room.

Turns out that my 35-36 week old baby is estimated to be weighing in at 7 lbs. 13 ounces, today, now, like right now, not what he might be when he's born- no this guy is that size right now. WHAT?! So they rounded it up to 8 lbs and factoring a half pound of weight gain during each of the last four weeks we're looking at 10 lb baby. That's right a 10 lb baby. For reference: Baby Sissy is four months old and just cracked the 10 lb mark. Fine she is in the 5 percentile, but still. There's no way she'll hold her own against Benjamin in a street fight. For a further frame of reference Brody was 7 lbs when we found him.

Over lunch I bemoaned that fact to Kris that Ben will be bigger than the puppy was. And he properly responded, "I don't want a little baby! I want a linebacker!!!!" Which prompted the following flash forward:
"Playing football for West Canaan High School may have been the opportunity of YOUR lifetime, but I -
DON'T- WANT-
YOUR- LIFE."
So the upside is that when we drop Benjamin off for spring practice in Happy Valley, I can honestly say to him that I did everything I could from the moment he was conceived to make him the best linebacker since Shane Conlan, Paul Posluszny and Dan Connor. And that's why, thanks to your scholarship, we're spending the money we saved for your college education to buy a better boat. And no, you're not getting a car, you'll ride the Loop like everyone else. Let's keep it humble here.

The downside to this, is that I find myself thinking that I'm going to give birth to Vin Diesel or The Rock. I have to refrain from calling him "an animal" or thinking that Baby Ben "eats babies that small for breakfast."

I'm being coached to expect a c-section and not to be disappointed if I have one. Apparently with such a large baby in the first pregnancy on an unproven pelvis, they find it easier not to labor in vain. And that's fine, my pelvis isn't really crying out to be tested or tried or made to feel inadequate.

So this explains why I'm sooooooo uncomfortable, normal women with normal babies feel this way at 40 weeks. I still have four weeks to go and more baby to grow. I think we're in a bit of trouble here.