What? I'm 75% done? We're heading into the fourth quarter? The same fourth quarter in which I am a notoriously poor performer? If this were a campaign we'd be at Labor Day weekend right now, when everything actually counts.
The baby is making brain wrinkles this week, so I should probably eat fish or something besides a 100 cal pack of pecan sandies right?
Baby Ben is a fierce kicker. He kicks all the time and really hard. Most nights he'll bounce the laptop around on my belly. Last night he gave it three swift kicks in a row and it fell off. I see Robbie Gould potential all over this kid. Or it could just be that's what happens when this guy has kids:
Soccer studded genes
I had two glorious nights last week in which I slept through the entire night without getting up to use the bathroom, SINCE THEN however, it's been 4 nightly visits. Unprecedented. Not to brag or anything, but I have superior bladder skills. Since the age of 8 I have been able to hold it for the entire school day. (Public bathroom phobia) Pre-pregnancy I think I could go 16 hours easily. I won't even tell you what the longest was because you won't believe me, just know that in the end- I passed out. Kris was there, he can vouch. That wasn't even for a free wedding gown or car contest or anything, it's just that a suitable bathroom had yet to present itself. Not only can I hold it, but I am speedy. If there were a contest I am confident I would win. As you can imagine this bladder issue really grates on me, as I perceive my endurance and speed to be among my most tangible talents. Losing them hurts.
Also hurts? Getting out of bed. It's becoming a bit ridiculous. Lift upper body with arms, scoot legs to side of bed, fall out of bed.
And more pain? How about some scary Braxton Hicks Contractions? Hmm? They don't hurt as much as take my breath away and scare the hell out of me. How do you know you're having Braxton Hicks and not going into pre-term labor? The BH contractions don't become progessively regular. WHAT? Yes, that is the B.S. answer. So until you can determine that they're not growing closer and more regular for all you know you're in labor at the Home Depot. Congratulations.
The indecisiveness grows. Please don't ask me to make any sort of decision. I will wind up screaming, "I can't decide!" and when you still don't get it and tears are streaming down my face I'll have to reiterate, "I am sob sob sob, incapable, sob sob, of making a decision!!!!!"
Also after 8 o'clock sleep is more necessary than food. If we haven't eaten dinner by then, understand you're on your own to decide what we have for dinner because I need to nap. Do not assume the napping urgency displaces the need for food entirely. When you eat the last Hot Pocket and I wake up at 10:30 to no food in the house, I will be pissed. "I thought you wanted to sleep!" should not also have meant: "I thought the fetus didn't want dinner!" So that's that.
My feet hurt, part of it might be my new shoes, but I think they've been hurting for weeks now. Don't worry you're not in any danger of me posting any other pictures of my feet. I know how offended some of you are by their Tolkein nature.
I'm scarring very easily. I don't know what that has to do with being pregnant but it's new and persistent. The tiniest scratch becames a permanent fixture. It looks like I crawled out of Shawshank.
Still hoarding all of my hair. Eyebrows grow very quickly.
I've had my first bout with heartburn. Brownies were the cause. Brownies have been banished.
2 comments:
Aww, I love picturing you pregnant--such a cute mommy. Can't say I miss all the middle of the night bathroom trips or the herculean effort that it took to get out of bed!
And about the Braxton Hicks vs. real labor. It is true the only way you know the difference is by timing them! I was in no pain having BH contractions (i thought) for two hours two minutes apart when my friend was like, hello, you are in labor, call the doctor! I was in denial because I was thinking that labor is really painful and I would be at least having to breathe through the contractions at this point. Sure enough, Aubrey was born 14 hours after I first started timing my "Braxton Hicks."
I was the complete opposite of Becky. I had Braxton Hicks and freaked out, because I was only about 30 weeks or so. Then when I had real contractions, I was like "Wow, and I freaked out about those stupid BH contractions?"
Everyone told me, when you're in real labor (not "hmm, I think that was a contraction, let me write down the time" labor, but "Holy f*cking sh*t my body is being ripped in half" labor), you'll know. And you do.
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