Ben's First Haircut 10/19/2010

So on or about 10/18 I decided that Ben's hair had gotten too long and waiting until he was three because that's what Jewish people do was just not going to happen. No matter that we're Anglican and Ben won't be learning the Torah at 36 months anyway it all seemed a reasonable goal at the time. And you know what they were right, you shouldn't cut a baby's hair until he's three. I regret every bit of it. Every single thing I told her I didn't want, she wound up doing. I'm pretty sure her only qualification for cutting children's hair is that she bought a bunch of cute chairs and thought of a good name for the salon/store. I didn't want fall lines, weight lines, the appearance of a bowl cut, I wanted it to be very soft and natural looking, as if he hadn't gotten a hair cut at all. And when it was all done and I was holding a small plastic bag of his baby curls in my shaking hands I could have reached out and gouged out her left eye, pulled out a fistful of her hair with my right hand, and knocked her to the floor, spit on her and lit the place on fire on my way out. But since I'm not in jail, you know that I paid and TIPPED her. I can't believe I did that. Habit I guess, I have half a mind to go back and say, "You know what? My mom taught me to be pleasing to people so I don't know how to be mean, but you don't know how to cut hair so give me back 4 bucks." I could rage on about his hair, like how it looks like I used a 1" curling iron to affect this look, but I won't but know from here on until about Christmas I am seething at the resulting looks of this haircut.

Before

Before, I recognize that it's long, I get it.

Umm, I guess Ben looks like Ronnie a la Jersey Shore.
This is unfortunate.

Still before

Don't worry mom! I'm sure I won't look like the Dutch Boy paint kid!